The Purpose of Grief

The world looks different these days. It has changed how we handle, process, and grieve so many life events. For me, the new slowness of life around me has brought more attention and space for me to process grief. I am not a feeler. I tend to run towards anything that is happy and avoid the sad. But the stillness around me has left me with not much to do outside of process. 

Yesterday, 2 dear humans that were a part of my life left this world. One a family member and the other a woman who played a large part in my first 10 years in South Carolina. I felt the sad, and instinctively thought of how to get out of it. But, due to the current circumstances, there isn't much to run to.

So I sat in it and I wept. and I asked the Lord why death has to hurt so deeply. Why a season already causing confusion and a loss of control now had a grief and heaviness as well.

And in the sitting and the weeping and the hurting, I felt the sweetness of a Savior. The assurance of a Jesus who sits in the nights weeping and rejoices in the glory of the morning with us.

And I realized, maybe, just maybe, this is what grief is for. To remind us it is okay to be a human. To cry. To feel deeply. And to bring us back to the Savior, who is always near, even in seasons of confusion and heartache.

Guest Post by: Kam Kelley

How Long

With all of the uncertainty that exists these days, we can trust in the steadfast love of a good God and rejoice in His salvation through Christ. We can sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with us.

May this song, written and performed by friends of the ministry encourage your heart and faith during this time of uncertainty! God is good. He’s in control. He pursues us with a steadfast love.

I Consider My Life Worth Nothing

Francis Chan, Founder’s Week 2020.

“People started coming forward for healing and everyone I touched was healed. This has never happened in my 52 years of life and ministry.”

This message is a challenge to consider our lives as worth nothing for the sake of the Gospel. Francis Chan just shares from the heart about why he felt called to leave the States and move to Hong Kong. He also talks about how he has over the past few years, believed that the Lord still ministers through believers through the miraculous.

“Do you still believe that if you lose your life, you’ll find it?”

Amen!

Continually Filled

“And the disciples were continually filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.” ~ Acts 13:52

There’s a continual filling of the Holy Spirit that is available for those who trust in Jesus. And when we are filled, joy accompanies it.

I wonder aloud “Could the measure of my joy indicate how much and how often I am being filled by His Holy Spirit? The disciples in the book of Acts were continually being filled. Am I?

I believe that we experience full joy when we are filled by His Holy Spirit. The two go hand and hand. May I forever be identified with the believers in this verse and be someone who is continually filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit!

A Toast to the Stoudemayer's

A year ago tomorrow, these two, Trey Stoudemayer and Jacey Voris met in my home. They came for the weekend to be a part of training for summer leadership in Africa. Trey, a gregarious storyteller who could captivate an audience anywhere, and Jacey, a quiet and discerning young woman who just leads by example, were sure to be a match made in heaven, I just didn’t know it yet.

That weekend, Jacey was already committed to serving with us, but Trey was trying to decide on whether or not to go to Africa for the summer. As the weekend progressed, the call intensified, but he still had some tough decisions to make and needed some doors to open if if it were going to happen. As we prepared to head our separate ways, someone offered up a suggestion. Jacey told Trey that she felt the Lord leading her to fast for him and pray that God would open those doors. Long story short, He did! After a week of prayer and some conversations with his employer, Trey was given the green light to spend the summer in Kenya.

When the summer hit, and teams started arriving, I remember receiving daily calls from Trey. He would call me for advice on how to handle certain situations, ask questions about their itinerary or finances and sometimes just call to talk and catch up. Well, about halfway through the summer, our daily conversations took a turn. Trey informed me of his affections for one of the other leaders (you guessed it, Jacey!). He told me that they had not pursued anything, because they didn’t want it to distract from teams. He also told me that the feelings were mutual.

As the summer ended, so did the restrictions for pursuing a relationship. All this time, they knew that they were interested in each other, but they intentionally waited to make it official until after teams had wrapped up their summer. In that time of separation though, they formed a relationship that would turn out to be lifelong. At the end of the summer, Trey told me that they were coming home with intentions of getting engaged and eventually married.

Their first date occurred in Africa. Not many American couples can make that claim. They waited for the teams to leave and during the final few days went on a date in Nairobi. I still remember the giddiness in Trey’s voice when he called and told me about it. And after they left Kenya, Trey followed through with his word. He came home, bought a ring and proposed to that girl (just not in America)!

In September, a small group of our leaders traveled to Zimbabwe to pray and plan for Africa Freedom Mission. Jacey wanted to get engaged in a place that she loved and her love for Africa started in Zimbabwe. So, during our trip, Trey pulled her aside and asked her to be his wife.

I cannot express to you just how happy I am for this couple. I truly believe that they have all they need to be successful in marriage. They have a genuine love for Jesus, each other and come from families that have modeled Christ-centered marriages their whole lives. They are committed and disciplined. They’re not perfect, but they have a genuine desire to follow the Lord in everything. I remember a call I received recently from Trey. He said, we’ve started giving each other side hugs now because we are afraid of what any more physical contact might lead too. This is not normal for young adults these days, but it is for these two and because of it, they’ve been able save themselves for marriage, a pretty rare feat these days.

Tomorrow marks exactly one year, to the day, since this young couple met in my living room. And tomorrow marks the beginning of their lives together as Mr and Mrs Stoudemayer. So, in honor of you guys, I would like to raise a toast! To Trey and Jacey, may your lives be filled with laughter, joy, hope and love as you pursue a life with Jesus and each other. May you make such an impact for eternity by your union together that it shakes the nations. I love you both and am proud of who the Lord is maturing you to be. Many many blessings in this new season.

Love,
Brent Roberts
President & CEO
Africa Freedom Mission

I Can't Run

I run. That’s my coping mechanism. Just ask any girl that I’ve ever lived with, they’ve definitely heard me say something along the lines of “after ___ happening I need to go run.” I run when I’m stressed. I run when I’m anxious. I run when things don’t go my way. I run not only in a physical and literal sense, but I also run from things that scare me. I see my friends being bold in talking to new people, in advancing the Kingdom, in fully surrendering. But I run from those things. I feel unworthy, not good enough, that I could never do those things. So I run.

You might already know this, but in July 2019 I spent two weeks in a refugee settlement in Uganda. I tried so hard to run from not going. I truly didn’t feel equipped. The enemy attacked me every single day while on that trip - telling me I wasn’t good enough to serve. That God couldn’t use Africa as part of my testimony. That I would never be redeemed from feeling unworthy of His love and of an earthly love from those around me.

But you know what, He did it. He used 500 students to braid my hair, call me beautiful despite the mess that I was, and cover me in hugs and hand holds to redeem my heart. To set me free of feeling unworthy. So I returned home feeling fresh. I felt loved. I felt that my life had purpose - to love no matter your story and no matter your past because in that settlement, I felt the greatest love I’ll ever feel this side of heaven. 

I came home and felt at peace. I felt peace with never going back to Africa. My work there was done. Oh but God, in all is power and might, sweetly reminded me that I was not finished. One night, I sat in a circle on the floor at my friend’s house. We were having a small group, but not just any small group. The Holy Spirit was so present. We were praying bold prayers, healings were taking place, darkness was coming to light. And God whispered to me, “I’m not done yet.” 

Ask any of my prayer warrior friends and they’ll tell you that I struggled with this. Deep in my heart I knew the Lord was calling me back to Africa. But like I’m so good at doing, I ran. I refused to apply. I refused to even think about going back. Again, the enemy was telling me I had no purpose, I was unable to go again because I wasn’t enough. 

But I can no longer run. I can’t run from the fact that God isn’t finished. That there are more people to love, more villages that need the gospel, and more grace to give. I can’t run from a calling to advance the gospel, no matter how hard I try.

So I’m going back. Back to the place that made me feel alive. That gave my life purpose. Back to Africa. Yet, I can’t run from the fact that the feeling of purpose I felt in Africa also can’t be felt here in Eastern North Carolina. Because freedom and redemption live here too. Because where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Because my testimony is one of redemption. I can no longer run from my story, from the goodness of God, or from the places that he is calling me to. 

In July 2020, I will be spending two weeks in Zimbabwe with Africa Freedom Mission. I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord will do big things during those two weeks. If you feel led to partner with me to make this trip possible you can visit the link below. 

Donation link: https://fcsmnstry.io/mkr/bs7QfF

—————————————————————————————

If you would like to follow more of Allie’s story you can visit: https://www.allielinkphoto.com. She’s also an excellent photographer!

Surrendering All

“All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live”
~ I Surrender All (J.W. Van Deventer )

Growing up, I sang the lyrics to this well known hymn many times but never really stopped to think about what I was singing. Take a minute and listen to some of these words:

All to Jesus I surrender, All to Him I Truly Give
As I thought about this statement, I was forced to ask: Do I freely giving Him all that I have? In Matthew 16:24 Jesus tells His disciples that “if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”. To follow Him, I need to let Him rule my life and not try to rule it myself. If I’m honest, there are parts of me that are easy to give and others that are more difficult. He doesn’t ask for some, but all. Oh how I wish to sing this song in full sincerity.

I Will Ever Love and Trust Him, in His Presence Daily Live
Do I ever love and trust Him? When the rubber meets the road and the trials and temptations of this world come my way, do I really trust him? In the good times and in the bad times do I seek His presence? These are just questions that I’ve asked myself.

These verses and questions led me to think about David, “a man after God’s own heart.” If you ever want to see an amazing example of authentic love for the Lord, read Psalm 63. In this Psalm David is proclaiming his unshaken love for our God, his desire for God’s presence and his willingness to surrender all for the gift of relationship with the Father. May that be my own desire!

Though I’m not yet near where I want to be, I have seen growth in these areas over the last few years. Many people think that in order to grow in our intimacy with the Lord we must strive harder, but it’s quite the opposite. Instead of striving, we’re called to surrender - surrender our desires, our wills, our wants and perceived needs, our heart, our decisions, our dreams, everything. And as we surrender and empty ourselves he begins to fill us. He fills us with his heart, his dreams, his will, his character, his presence, his Spirit! Surrender doesn’t come easy, though, but it is necessary to become fully satisfied in Him.

Africa Freedom Mission
As I thought about these lyrics and their implications for a life of surrender, I was taken back to an event that happened in my life this past fall. I was on Instagram one evening and stumbled across an ad for a ministry called Africa Freedom Missions (@AfricaFreedomMission). When I saw it, my heart jumped out of my chest because Africa has such a special place in my heart. After learning more about their organization and its leadership, I quickly submitted an application for the trip.

AFM sends teams on 2-week, 4-week and summer long missions to four different countries in Africa. Because of previous experience serving on teams in South Africa (twice in the last three years), I knew that 2 weeks was just not enough. So, I applied to serve for a month in Zambia along with my amazing girlfriend Hallie.

If I’m honest, when I applied, I hadn’t taken time to fully discern the Lord’s leading. I always want to be someone who submits my plans and desires to Him and the respond in obedience to His leading. So I slowed things down for a week. During that week, Hallie and I committed to pray for discernment and for one another with respect to serving on this team in Zambia. There were also things that I hadn’t considered that would be impacted by such a decision (lack of summer income to pay for my final year of school). So, I wanted to make sure it was Him leading and not just my desires to return to a place that I’ve grown to love.

This devoted week brought me back to those truths in Matthew and Psalms about completely surrendering my all to Him. Going to Him in prayer not only helped solidify my desire and acceptance to serve in Zambia this summer but allowed me to continually let Him take the lead. Seeing the Lord provide opportunities like this has really strengthened the relationship I have with Him. It has allowed me to witness His active hand in my life. And it has helped me rest in the fact that His plans are far better than mine. 

I’m continuing to learn what it means to surrender and give Him with everything. But if I am going to be His hands and feet on this Earth, I can’t take this task for granted! Would you join me in this High calling of surrender?

————————————————————————

Malik Peterson is a junior at Grace College studying nursing. He will be serving in Zambia with AFM for the month of June.

Worthy of It All

There is a generation of young people rising up that is completely in love and satisfied in Christ. Our desire is Him and His glory alone. There were 65,000 people from ages 18-25 in a stadium, seeking an encounter with the King of Kings. We are roaring the name of Jesus into 2020.

We are not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! By the year 2033, every tribe, tongue and nation will have the powerful word of God and the good news of the Gospel written in their specific language. Jesus Himself speaks of this hour. “And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.” (Matthew 24:14)

WAKE UP CHURCH! WE ARE LIVING IN SUCH A TIME AS THIS! “God declares, that ‘I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.” (Acts 2:17) No one knows the hour of the coming of Jesus but he definitely gives us some good hints! He brings beauty for our ashes and uses us for His glory (Isaiah 61). He allows us to be empowered by His Holy Spirit to carry out His purposes. Are we willing to live our lives on our knees, fully surrendered to the Lord for His Glory to be shown throughout the world? It’s time to surrender everything for Him because Heaven bent to save us.

We will be persecuted, but He is worthy.

We will face trials, but He is worthy.

It will not be easy, but He is worthy.

He is worthy of it all!

——————————————————————————————

Post provided by Gabe Cruz, leader for Zimbabwe Summer 2020 with AFM

Under the Gaze of God

---

This New Year begins for me with a lot of uncertainty. Right now I don’t know what the future holds. At the end of last year, my husband and I felt a very clear call from God to move our family back to the United States, after almost seven years living and working in Zambia. When God calls and moves, we will answer and follow. We will make every effort to choose His path. But it’s not always easy. It can be really hard. It can really hurt. Right now, we are jobless and homeless. In a holding pattern, we are waiting on God to show us which path to take. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you find it difficult to make resolutions or even plans this New Year because you just can’t see past today.

In this place where I find myself at the start of this new year, all I can do is submit myself, my family, my situation to God and wait. The only resolution I know to make is to live coram Deo (under the gaze of God).

Living coram Deo is to live one’s entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God. To live in the presence of God is to understand that whatever we are doing and wherever we are doing it, we are acting under the gaze of God. God is omnipresent. There is no place so remote that we can escape His penetrating gaze. ~R.C. Sproul In Genesis 17:1 “the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, ‘I am God Almighty; Walk before Me, and be blameless.’”

Walk BEFORE Me
This word translated BEFORE is the Hebrew word Paniym, which means in front of, before, to the front of, in the presence of, in the face of.

Coram Deo
If I have envisioned myself walking with God, it has usually been a picture of walking beside Him or even behind Him and following His lead. But when I think of God’s command to walk before Him, the picture changes.

If God were only ever walking ahead of me, leading the way, following would be a pretty straight-forward, easy thing to do. I could do it with my ipod blaring and distractions all around me, because I would just have to follow in His footsteps. He is the Shepherd and His rod and staff guide me. And sometimes our walk is like that.

Walking before Him, on the other hand, takes careful attention. I must be completely tuned in to His voice so that I will hear His leading. I must trust that He is watching my every step and that I am safe under His gaze, even though I cannot see Him with my eyes.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,“This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

This New Year I will focus on listening. I will tune in to the voice of God behind me. I will walk forward trusting in His guidance. I will delight in the fact that His gaze is upon me. I will remember His faithfulness in the past and look to the future with great hope! Living coram Deo!

For You have delivered my soul from death,Indeed my feet from stumbling,so that I may walk before Godin the light of the living.Psalm 56:13

Live Free. Live Loved.

~Kerri

(This post was provided by Kerri Roberts and was written when her and her family were returning from Zambia after serving as missionaries for 7+ years. We pray that these truths learned during their transition will be a blessing to you as you approach the New Year.)

Teach Me To Walk

This is a prayer I’ve been repeating ever since I became a believer. We all know that beautiful moment when a baby learns to walk for the first time. Everyone in that moment is transfixed on the baby, but the baby is focused on the parent who has their arms wide open waiting to catch the child when they fall. That’s exactly what the Lord does to us!! “Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.” (Romans‬ ‭6:4‬).

We are children learning to walk in the every day. Jesus died so we could walk in fullness with him!! The word “WALK” is used 212 times in the Bible. Walking in newness isn’t natural. It has to be taught by submission to the father. We’ve lost the beauty in asking these simple question: “Jesus how do I walk with you?” He listens to you!! “He inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:2). The Lord doesn’t give you a desire to walk in holiness just so you can fall. He’s a gracious teacher. But are we willing students?

In the Hebrew “Walk” means “to live” . We must listen to his word and live by it. Knowledge without practice is dead works. “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the spirit” (Galatians 5:25). I want to encourage the generation of people learning to walk (whether you’ve been a believer for 1 year or 50 years, or anywhere in between) don’t be afraid to ask the people around you questions either. We’ve all walked and we’re all learning. That’s what testimonies are, they are our walks being lived out. This is also for the unbeliever. If you’re still reading this, ask the Lord how to walk into newness of life with him. Reach out!! I don’t want you to miss out on the fullness of life that Jesus brings!! You’re not inadequate. Come as you are!!

~ Austin Panter