Driving down to Charleston with my friends Simon and KC, all we could talk about was how much we were looking forward to the beach and getting some rest. With midterm week behind us, we just wanted to get out of Raleigh and take a break from school. I was also pumped to see my sister Grace and meet her AFM buddies that she was always talking about. Spiritual growth wasn’t really on my mind if I’m being honest. But God had other plans. Plans to break down the walls in my heart and reveal Himself to me in a way that I had never experienced.
Prior to Charleston, I would describe my walk with God as stagnant. With the hectic schedule of school and overall stress of life, I had become complacent in my relationship with Christ, convincing myself that God understood my circumstances and that He was doing just fine without hearing from me. It was a dull season flooded with frustration, anxieties, and weariness. I told myself if only I had a bit more time in my day, I’d genuinely pursue God and make room for Him.
Then Saturday night happened. Spending the whole day on the beach, I was exhausted and kind of unmotivated to worship. Although I was tired, I felt this tug on my heart and I knew God was telling me “WAKE UP, BRO! I’m about to do something cool!” So worship began and immediately I noticed the passion and collective fire for Jesus that filled the room. It was contagious! As we sang “Make Room” I began to think about all the idols I had been placing before God: athletics, acceptance, comfort, even academics! For the first time in a few weeks, I earnestly prayed to God that I would get rid of these idols and make room for Him. And not just make room, but to surrender to Him fully.
The next few minutes were a blur, but God was breaking down walls in my heart and exposing the lies that were keeping me from experiencing Him fully. Then Austin showed up. He prayed over me, and I wish I could remember every second of that moment. But what I do remember is him describing this seesaw, and I was in the middle. He said “95% of the time, you can choose God’s side, but there’s still that 5% thats holding you back and that’s when you choose the world’s side. But here’s the thing. In those moments when you don’t know which side to choose, JESUS IS THERE WITH YOU!” And in that moment, I couldn’t do anything but sit there and cry. I had experienced God’s abundant love in a way I still don’t know how to describe.
I had realized that after weeks and weeks of trying to muscle through life on my own, I just needed to understand this truth: Through Jesus, I don’t have to settle for giving a portion of my weary heart to God. With Jesus by my side, I can give my WHOLE heart to God. Whatever I’m going through, whatever I’m feeling, God wants to hear ALL of that from his son. He doesn’t want me to hold back anything from him, but rather, He simply wants me to lay it all down!
As worship came to a close, there was an invitation for baptism. Sure it was in a bathtub and yeah, I hardly knew most of the people there. But right away I knew I had to do it. I knew God radically changed my heart and I wanted to declare that. I’ve always heard baptism is an outward expression of an inward decision. I already made the decision to follow Jesus when I was 13, but that inward decision was to go from 95% “kinda committed” to 100% “fully surrendered”. I’ll never forget the joy of coming out of that water and hugging my sister, knowing that God had placed me in Charleston that weekend for a purpose: to experience Jesus on a whole new level.
— Eli Woodard, brother of staff member Grace Woodard.